THE EVIL FIZZY MACHINE
‘Ahh
it’s a nice day to have a swim’ said Aaron. 'Look it’s the green fizzy machine' it
was chasing me then it ate me up. I was in a fizzy world it was awesome. I was
in the fizzy machine I was swimming in the fizzy liquid. There was a temple it had a
floating fizzy can, it was the fizzy machines heart. I Saw a death timer I smashed
the heart in time then the fizzy machine exploded. I fell out of the
fizzy machine but then there was another fizzy machine oh no here I go
again!!! THE END
By
Aaron
What a dramatic piece of writing Aaron!
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you started your 100WC with speech, it captures your readers straight away. I also liked some of descriptive language that you have used; awesome and exploded are my favourites.
Maybe next time you could think about how often you use the same word, maybe think of some alternatives.
Well done and keep writing. :)