At 8PM Aaron Yang the detective deserved a lilypad falling from the dark sky the lilypad was wet it means it came from some were with water but were?
It can come from the river or waterfall.
We saw some green slim on the ground the green slim was soth it looked like it was bitten we researched it at are lab ... when we researched the lilypad the lilypad was from a frogs normally frogs come from a pond we when to the pond the frogs was sleeping were was waking back the frogs was floating then they went back down we thought the frogs were floating because of the gravity.
It can come from the river or waterfall.
We saw some green slim on the ground the green slim was soth it looked like it was bitten we researched it at are lab ... when we researched the lilypad the lilypad was from a frogs normally frogs come from a pond we when to the pond the frogs was sleeping were was waking back the frogs was floating then they went back down we thought the frogs were floating because of the gravity.
Hi Aaron
ReplyDeleteI like the way you have used a question in your writing to engage the reader.
Can you proof-read your writing using a dictionary to check you have chosen the correct words from the abc checker. Also check you have used fullstops and capital letters correctly.
Mrs Natusch
Hi Aaron
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking your spelling and punctuation. You highlighted lily pad so I can tell you have corrected this word. Next time can you highlight all of the changes you make so I can tell what you have "re-crafted" and checked.
Read your first sentence out loud to yourself. Is "deserved" the word you need? Now read the rest of your writing carefully to see if there are other words to correct.
Please highlight your changes in red.
Thanks
Mrs N ;)
To Mrs N
DeleteI changed deserved to Aaron Yang the detective
From Aaron